Your first sentence states that riders who wear helmets and ride like idiots are the problem. From that I would assume that means that you don't ride like an idiot.
Your second sentence states that you have had two accidents, neither of which were your fault. That statement seems to support most statistics that I have seen that the majority of two or more vehicle accidents involving motorcycles are not the motorcyclist's fault. It also seems to contradict your first statement.
Riders riding like idiots generally tend to be involved in single vehicle accidents, more often than not finding themselves traveling too fast to make a sudden maneuver, like avoiding an object or making a turn. This type of rider, much like those who choose not to wear helmets, usually suffer consequences that could have been avoided had they made smarter choices. As your experience proves, riding in a safe and sane manner does not preclude you from being involved in an accident.
If you believe a helmet can save your life, and you choose not to wear one, that's your right. If you don't believe a helmet can save your life, well that's a whole different discussion.
I don't believe they are automatic just like seat belts, they may improve your chances in most situations but can hurt you in others. I simply do not enjoy the hobby as much wearing one. If my state required them again I would probably be done riding and just buy a convertible.