First, thanks for the complete and thoughtful responses. I'll measure the spring when I get home.
36nm/each was the Beemershop calculation so I can't say how, but paired with the valving he assures me it'll feel much better while still being very sporty.
As you mention, on nice roads, it's amazing. On rough roads it's still smoother than stock Roadster shocks, that's how bad Roadster shocks are haha.
I think you're bang on with the topping out during acceleration, at full throttle the bike kind of does feel like it's skipping across the road if it has bumps.
Jeffs opinion at Beemershop is 36nm and 15mm of preload will ride vastly better, makes more sense now with what you've mentioned.
Finally, I'm gathering from other reading the trailing edge scalloping is largely due to trail braking while leaned over, as you mention, so for me that qualifies as "normal" wear.
Preload - 5mm (lol)
These are my measurments:
One Cavaet - bike only has 1/2 gallon of fuel in it at the moment.