sad news

[HELLRAISER]

hellraiser...i understand how you feel...but in the overall scheme of things...we probably didn't really matter at all during these arrangements. His wife probably had her reasons for getting this "out of the way" and she may have only had an indication that he had a lot of friends on this board when budman posted (#142 of this thread) and mentioned it to her when he went to what little ceremony there was.

She will have to live with her part in hellfire's taking his own life (and she does play a big part in this but remember being unemployed, unable to get back his old job...he did have a lot that he was fighing against)...and she may not be the cold hearted woman we have come to picture her as...then again she may be. Remember it was only a short while ago (while i was still in afghanistan) that he told us about their last fling to mexico to enjoy a vacation together...after that it apparently quickly unraveled as far as their marriage went and that trip may have been a last attempt to salvage their relationship
.
But, again, i doubt we were much in her thoughts when the arrangements were being made...we were probably fortunate that izzo2 came upon the situation as he did or we may still not have known that hellfire was no longer with us...think about that one.

Dennis

yes dennis, but it just makes me so **** mad, he was all excited about his new motor home an travelin....seems like she doomed him, an it was there 3rd attempt, she only came back when the sugardaddies ran out....and she has one now, guess we will never know!!!!

 

[webmaster]

yes dennis, but it just makes me so **** mad, he was all excited about his new motor home an travelin....seems like she doomed him, an it was there 3rd attempt, she only came back when the sugardaddies ran out....and she has one now, guess we will never know!!!!

Depression is a challenging illness; for both the affected and those around them.

 

[nolton]

Kelly told me a several personal things in his emails and I will say that both played a part in their problems. What must be considered is that Kelly had a very hard life, period. There was MANY things that were bothering him and it could be that all the free time made him reflect on the negative. I did not see this coming in his emails and it took me as a complete shock but I will give credit. Considering all that has happened to him in his life, he was an outstanding person even with his problem and personal issues.
No one should be making any accusations to wards his wife because in my opinion, based on what he told me, other family members hurt him beyond what his wife may have done.
My friend has passed and there is not one **** thing that I can do about it. Please, if anyone thinks that life is just too hard to go on, dont be apprehensive about talking to anyone on this forum. We all share the same kind of pain in different forms and I cant imagine anyone here not wanting to help, however they may.
There are things in life that we will never get over, pain that will never go away but with help you can learn how to live with it and use the experience to help others later.
Helping others is the best way to cope with what you are dealing with. Sharing lightens the load. Talking releases the hold that burdens the soul.
Rest in Peace my friend. I love you like a brother.

 

[baadactor]

Hellfire's Mexican vacation was all bought and paid for before he lost his job. I gathered it was a yearly trip when times were good. And I'm sure some time in the sun and sand relieved a bit of pressure at the moment. Tropical beaches have a way of doing that for us.
I certainly could have offered him a place to stay. Since my Sally passed away, it's just me banging around in this big old house. Jobs are scarce though, and I doubted he'd want to head north rather than south. I don't doubt he'd rather do anything than accept a hand out. That seems to be the kind of man he was.

 

[budman]

DOES ANYONE BESIDES ME FIND THIS A LITTLE ODD? SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE MADE A QUICK DECISION AN WE AS HIS FAMILY NEVER EVEN GOT TO PAY OUR RESPECTS? I MISS HIM ALREADY, HE ALWAYS MADE ME LAUGH, OR COME UP WITH SOMETHING OFF THE WALL ABOUT OUR FORUMS,....I HOPE HE IS AT PEACE AN I HOPE THE ONES THAT DROVE HIM TO IT WITHOUT GETTING HIM HELP, SUFFER EVERY DAY FOR WHAT THEY DROVE HIM TO!!!!! JUST MY OPINION, DONT REALLY CARE IF ANYONE ELSE LIKES IT OR NOT, I HAVE BEEN ONE BREATH AWAY FROM SUCIDE MYSELF, SO I KNOW THERE IS REASON AN SOMETIMES HELP! ...R.I.P. KELLY!!!!!

Hellraiser...I understand how you feel...but in the overall scheme of things...we probably didn't really matter at all during these arrangements. His wife probably had her reasons for getting this "out of the way" and she may have only had an indication that he had a lot of friends on this board when Budman posted (#142 of this thread) and mentioned it to her when he went to what little ceremony there was.

She will have to live with her part in Hellfire's taking his own life (and she does play a big part in this but remember being unemployed, unable to get back his old job...he did have a lot that he was fighing against)...and she may not be the cold hearted woman we have come to picture her as...then again she may be. Remember it was only a short while ago (while I was still in Afghanistan) that he told us about their last fling to Mexico to enjoy a vacation together...after that it apparently quickly unraveled as far as their marriage went and that trip may have been a last attempt to salvage their relationship
.
But, again, I doubt we were much in her thoughts when the arrangements were being made...we were probably fortunate that Izzo2 came upon the situation as he did or we may still not have known that Hellfire was no longer with us...think about that one.

Dennis

..good points molinoman..

..and Hellraiser, I can only say that I too thought it a little odd for the memorial service to be held at their house, but after talking with several others, this seems to be a more commonly accepted practice than I had realized..probably cost cutting measures to be sure, as was the cremation I expect..as for his wife, whom I had never met before, she cordially greeted me and anyone else I saw coming there that evening..there was probably a dozen or so people there for the very short time I was there, none of which I knew..she did remark that the house had been full of people since Kelly's passing on that previous Friday..I'm sure Kelly had other circles of friends we didn't know about..and as I mentioned earlier, I felt it important for me to go to (1) let her know what a big community of worldwide online friends he had just from this forum alone, and (2) to help give this forum's members some sense of closure at this devastating loss..and as molinoman mentioned, if not for Izzo2, we may have never known..

 

[Captain Bob]

Wow! I just got on the forum after a few weeks haitis. I am absolutely stunned and shocked by all of this. My thoughts and prayers are with Hellfire and the ones he loved.

He will be missed.......

 

[Molinoman]

Nolton...I agree pretty much with what you say about not necessarily laying all the blame on his wife. If he had other family members that were weighing him down...I"m sure that contributed.

But some of it is his wife's fault as without her standing by him during all that was happening around him...he had to, in the end, face it alone...that support that she "could" have provided, if she had a mind to do it, undoubtedly was the crack in the dike that he was not able to plug that led to everything unraveling for him.

He had a lot of "abstract" (for lack of a better word) help from all of us but until he was able to leave his situation he couldn't really take advantage of it.

His time up to the taking of his life must have been a very tormented time for him and if he was doing any drinking at all (there is currently no evidence that there was any...just using as an example) the ultimate decision must have been easier to be made...unfortunately for us.

Dennis

 

[tfrazier]

RIP, Kelly

I haven't been on the site for a few weeks and was saddened to see this news. HellFire was very helpful and gave me some great advice on my first car tire. Matter of fact, I bought and installed the same tire he was running. He also left a comment here and there on my blog.

Terrible tragedy, and though I only traded posts with him a few times I feel a sense of loss. Reading through some of his other threads I see a man who was on a roller coaster of life that was just finishing up a couple of hard banks and really exhausted by it all. Troubled relationships and loss of trust are things that will drain you fast and if you run out of sources of replenishment or start blaming yourself for things you had no control over you tend to dry out fast.

I can see how folks arrive at that ultimate decision point, and no matter how much folks left behind may hurt over it, you just can't blame the guy when only God knows what was going through his mind when he reached the point where he made that last decision (if that's what happened). I've been to that edge, once.

May God comfort those who were part of his life and are mourning his passing.

As for those of us left behind, may we all remember that every one of us has struggles, and as we each know we sometimes need a friend, we therefore should know we ought to be a friend.

 

[webmaster]

But some of it is his wife's fault as without her standing by him during all that was happening around him...he had to, in the end, face it alone...that support that she "could" have provided, if she had a mind to do it, undoubtedly was the crack in the dike that he was not able to plug that led to everything unraveling for him.

I understand your feelings. The unknown is one of the reasons why help centers and other resources make themselves available. They don't completely stop suicide, but show a small measure of success at saving a few lives:

 

[JoseyR3Wales]

Saturday night in Room #13 of the Holiday Motel, a toast of "Apple Pie" was made to the memory of our friend Hellfire.

On Sunday, a prayer was offered by all of us up on the Cherohala Skyway for our family member Hellfire.

Had we been in possession of his ashes we would have let them blow from up on high.

Gone but never forgotten. That is what is so great about the Rocket family.

RIP HELLFIRE