Jokes only Scots will understand

Not even close. All I know about the first 2 weeks in August is everybody is getting ready for trawling season, since it usually opens on the 3rd Monday.
 
So one everyone should understand

I'm in a bar and see/hear a couple of 'large' ladies talking in a distinctive accent:

I walked over & said "Excuse me, are you two ladies from Scotland?"

They looked disgusted and said "it's Wales actually"

So I corrected myself and said

"OK - are you two Whales from Scotland?"

 
What about Fae Fife?

I actually hung out with Nazareth in Albuquerque NM of all places.
Asked to go backstage at end of their set but was denied so said "just tell them a guy from Dunfermline says Hello"
Same bouncer tracked me down and was pleased to see I hadn't left as was told in no uncertain terms not to come back without me!
We chatted for a while in the dressing rooms, then they invited me back to their Hotel where we stayed up all night just blethering over a few drinks.
No wild time, just a real pleasant exchange with a good bunch of lads.
 
My ex was frae Burntisland and she went to school with the guys from Nazareth. When they played in Toronto they always invited her to their backstage party. I enjoyed many a pint of heavy up there.
 
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