I certainly don't dislike anyone enough to sit them on top of the rocket's exhaust (option 3 plan?)!
Option 1 looks relatively simple and I'd say if you can do your own welding should be less than 5 grand (without the inverted forks), but then it's not really a cruiser, is it? Nothing wrong with a 2.3 liter cafe racer though.
I'd recommend the diavel to you. Seems to fit more of what you're looking for. But I would certainly be interested in seeing what you could modify your rocket to...when you decide to get one
Btw, thanks for emphatically calling my bike ugly
you can be sure I won't do the same to whatever you do to make it uniquely yours